We are entering the first holiday season since my parents' home burnt to the ground in February. Much has been lost. All of their earthly possessions- gone. All of their comforts- gone. All of their conveniences- gone. As the months drug on after the fire and the search for returning to some kind of normal began, the lack of things made the lack of relationship, respect, and communication in my parents' marriage abundantly clear. What had been hidden and not dealt with for decades was laid out wide. Choices have been made and now yet another thing has been laid in the rubble of loss- my parents 42 year long marriage.
This holiday season, will not be gathered in my parents home with my entire family. I will not enter into my mother's house, all decorated with the most beautiful fall decor you have ever seen, and sit down at her table set with care. I will not eat off the brilliant golden Tierra dishes, I looked so forward to displaying on my Thanksgiving table some day. We will not look at the long counter of holiday foods and tease my mother by saying "It's buffet style fellers!" Much has changed in nine months, both in physical locations of where everyone resides and in our hearts. In those first months after the fire, I witnessed beautiful hearts come forward to help and such an outpouring of generosity towards my mom and dad. I will be forever grateful to all who donated money, clothing, their time, and their prayers in the few months after the fire. You gave my parents the ability to be clothed, comforted, and safe. I have also witnessed the ugliest actions from hearts sworn to love one another. Hurtful words between father and son, father and daughter, husband and wife. I stand here at the first holiday of this season and I am gravely aware of my choices. My choice to focus on loss or to focus on gratitude. My choice to harbor unforgivness or forgive. My choice to choose hate or choose love.
And so I choose what is good...........I choose to be grateful. I choose to forgive. I choose love. Because choosing those things move me forward. Those choices make me grow and learn. Making those choices everyday heal my heart. And make no mistake, making that choice everyday is not always an easy task. Choosing to be grateful, forgive, and love does not diminish the hurt at the loss we have experienced and are still experiencing. But choosing the good means that instead of seeing the loss of a future, I see the beauty of fresh starts. I see the promise of restoration that is more full and real and whole than what we had before. I see that in letting go of bitterness I gain freedom. I see that God has taken our focus off of things and put it back on where it should be- how we show our love for one another.
People over things is the new way of life. Trading in weakness for the strength of Jesus is common place now. Having faith that he has written a story that has a good ending, no matter what circumstances right now say, is sustaining the journey. Healthy boundaries is not a dirty word but wisdom that brings protection. I am grateful for friends that will take you in. I am grateful for the prayers of saints. I am grateful for generous empathetic hearts. For clarity born out of tragedy. For healing that is ongoing. I am grateful that my loved ones grow stronger and wiser everyday. That we are doing the work to get well. I am grateful that God is faithful and filled with loving kindness towards us every minute of everyday. That miracles still happen.
Much love to you and yours this holiday season. Make the good choices everyday that you wake up. Even when it is hard. Be in control of how you respond to despair. Choose to show Christ's great love by your good and kind actions to others. Die to self daily and live for Jesus. Trust in him because he is the Prince of Peace, sustainer of life.
John 13:34-35 "Let me give you a new command; Love one another. This is how everyone will recognize that you are my disciples- when they see the love you have for each other."
Psalm 107:1 "Give thanks to the Lord, for he is good, his love endures forever."
Galatians 6:9 "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up."
Phillippians 4:4 "Always be filled with joy in the Lord. I will say it again. Be filled with joy. Let everyone see that you are gentle and kind."
Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," says the Lord. "They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."
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