Wait....

Hello, my name is Errick.

I am Angela's husband, Errick.  I've felt lead to share what God tells me and so I thought I'd start a blog myself, like Angela.  It occurred to me that it would be better to share a blog than to have two separate ones, so I asked Angela if she would share this space with me and she said yes.  So here I am.

I hear God speak to me all the time; it's a normal part of my prayer time.  I pray and sometimes I don't even get to say much because the time is spent listening instead of praying.  This morning was one of those times when God revealed something to me that He's been working on for a while.  

I am a graphic designer, I do art commercially...I help companies advertise.  That tube of toothpaste had to have someone design the way it looks and the box that held it.  That's the kind of stuff I do for a living.  From time to time, my messages come in some form of analogy related to the graphics/art field.  

Anyway, I work full-time but have a firefighter t-shirt business on the side.  I love designing t-shirts.  At first, my ambitions in starting this business were solely money driven but God has changed my heart and now I realize I don't need to focus on money and monetary things.  I focus on God and the money thing just works like it needs to, I've given God charge over everything in my life... including my t-shirt business.  

I'm starting my fourth year of business and just prepared the company's portion of our taxes for 2012.  I launched in 2009 and found some success but that year was mostly getting things off the ground.  2010 & 2011 were fairly good years, nothing to brag about, but good for the amount of work that I put into this venture.  Last year was not such a good year.  I knew I wasn't doing good because the shirts were not selling and I prayed several times that God would bless my business, but this was also the year my heart was changed so I thought it was like a test.  Could I really let go of money and see my company wither?  Turns out I can.

Last year Angela's minivan (which I hated like it was the devil) died.  Good news there, but we had to replace it.  We live comfortably but we are by no means rich.  Angela's a school teacher and I'm paid like one too.  We needed to come up with some money for a car and we don't like car payments.  If we had to take one, it needed to be small.  Angela and I had some old IRA accounts from past jobs that were not performing so we cashed them out and used the money as a down payment.  That was a blessing.  Angela and I love the Rav4, that's another blessing. Our car payment is very manageable, that's a blessing.  

So here's the part that inspired me to write today.  Cashing in those IRA's blessed us with a vehicle but hurts us on our taxes because it's viewed as extra income.  My t-shirt company made a profit last year of $7.88... it dawned on me that actually is a blessing.  God did hear my prayers; He is in control.  The t-shirt company's profit along with the cost of my schooling will really help offset the money we "earned" from the IRA's.  

God revealed this to me and then spoke something I've heard, and sang, all my life... "They that wait upon The Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings like eagles.  They shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint.  Teach me Lord, teach me Lord to wait."  That finally made sense to me today.  In my company it looked like I was failing, but I waited on The Lord.  What do I have to show for it?  Money no longer leaking away, a new vehicle, a tax offset and revived trust that God is in control, loves me and is looking out for me even when I pray for a whole year not understanding.

The message for today is: Trust in God and know His timing is perfect, His ways are above ours... wait upon The Lord.  

Lost and found in the library

       Well spring break is here HALLELUJAH!  I would like to be able to report that I have gone on some fancy spa like trip or been on a hair raising adventure but alas all I have to report for my spring break adventure is a trip to our local library.   As this week began, my husband asked me what I was going to do with a whole week without children (both classroom and my personal children).  Like most mothers, my instant reply was "SLEEP!"  Then I told him I would probably go in to work a little everyday.  He looked at me with astonishment and asked why.  I told him that going into this last nine weeks of school I would like to get a little bit ahead.  He looked at me with all frankness and said "To be honest with you.... you need a break."  Then he listed off some helpful things I could do with my time instead of going to work.  One of those suggestions caused both of us to laugh.  He said to me "Go to the library and just wander around for hours.  Read a magazine, look at some books, NOT kid books, sit and read, ...............just go find yourself in the library."  
       Now going to the library is not in and of itself comical however, the idea that I would "find myself" there was indeed a little bit funny.  But hey, I have a week without kids why not try it out right?  So today I went to the library. I returned some long overdue items.  I paid a fine.  I got a new library card.  I searched the online database for authors and books I would like to read (only to find out they had none of them).  My brother had suggested a Joel Osteen book so I decided to mosey on over to the 200's and began looking at some of his books.  Not really finding one of his that jumped out, I looked at Beth Moore's books, and then at several other authors whose books caught my interest.   Long story short, next thing I knew, I was curled up in the corner of the library trying to decide which book out of four to take home.  

      One of the four books was Joyce Meyer's  Reduce me to Love.   This was not a book I had ever heard of before nor was it one of her newest books.  In fact it was over a decade old.  The cover was white with a simple gold locket on it.  I really don't know why I chose it from the shelf at all except that it had the word love in the title and that word seems to be coming back to me over and over again lately.  So while in my little corner of the library I began reading and within a short time I had read to chapter four!  So I checked it out and brought it home.  I can't say that I "found myself" in the library today but I can say that I found a book that speaks to me and encourages me to find a better version of myself by following Jesus' commandment to love others.   Not a bad way to spend a day of Spring Break after all!

Reminders are a good thing!

         This might sound terrible but, I am not a big fan of Paul.  Many times while reading his writings I have had to stop and take a deep breath.  Sometimes his tone bothers me,  sometimes I think he sounds like a boaster (even though he claims he is not one), and sometimes it is his opinion of women.  That being said, the bits of what he says in-between all that, the parts he has to say about Jesus, are powerful, inspiring, and serve as truthful reminders to me about my identity in Christ.  
         In 2 Timothy 2:11-13 Paul is giving Timothy a word to trust in.  "If we die with him, we will also live with him.  If we endure hardship, we will reign with him.  If we deny him, he will deny us.  If we are unfaithful, he remains faithful, for he cannot deny who he is (NLT)."  I view the first two sayings as promises for followers of Jesus.  Dying to the selfish ways of the world around me and living for Jesus means I have life with him.   When things get tough and hardships come my way I need to hang in there.  I certainly have not suffered the way Jesus did and now his is King of Kings and Lord of Lords.  Getting to reign with him sounds great!  The third saying makes me feel sad because it is the reality of not choosing Jesus.  And the last saying lays it all out there for me.   I might be a mess but Jesus never has been and never will be. 
            All these sayings are ones I can trust in but my favorite one is the last.  It gives me hope and confidence.  I might be unfaithful in areas of my life.  I might run from his love and my responsibilities.  My actions might not always bring glory to his name. All this and yet, I have hope because Paul's words remind me that Jesus REMAINS faithful.  No matter what I am doing he stays faithful because he "CANNOT deny who he is".  He just can't do it.  He knows who his is and what he has done. He knows where he came from and who he belongs to.  He knows the future.  He is unlike me.  Sometimes I forget and I deny who I am. I forget that I am his child.  I forget that I have an inheritance.  I forget that his love for me is in an unending well that never runs dry.  I forget that his death wipes away all my sin and shortcomings so that I can be free. I forget, until I read my bible.  Then from the man that might be my least favorite writer comes a great reminder.  Paul's words remind me that I have a treasure that I can trust.... the truth that Jesus' faithfulness is not contingent upon mine!  Thank goodness :)
  

      

      

Pursuing my heart

       Last weekend God gave me a reminder that though I may become lax in my vigilance to pursue his heart, he never becomes lax in pursuing mine.  For the last three years I have been attending the Extraordinary Women's conference when it comes to Tulsa.  I have always enjoyed the speakers, the Friday night concert, and the worship.  This year however the topic of the conference spoke volumes to my heart.  The topic was Enduring Love.  If you have read any of my other posts you might remember that in December I posted about a conversation I had with my husband about my lack of love for a person I was having particular struggles with.  I posted about it and then really put that information on the shelf of my heart to deal with at a later date.  But you know I really did not deal with it in fact, I more or less ignored it.  Then in early February in one of my daily readings I came across 1 Corinthians 13.   The love passage.  I wanted to think that this scripture was just regulated to marriage because let's face it for most of us one of the only times we even hear it is at a wedding.  But on this day as I read it and I came to the part in verse 5 where it says "Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged (NLT),"  I had to admit that in the love passage, Paul was not just speaking about how to love your spouse.  Still, I barely let that revelation seep down enough to do any good.  It was just too uncomfortable to admit that I am irritable with others and I do keep record of being wronged (a long record).  Now fast forward to last weekend..   Can you guess which scripture was the reference for the theme of the conference?  1 Corinthians 13:13 "Three things will last forever- faith, hope, and love- and the greatest of these is love. (NLT)"
         Now even though it may sound like God was "guilting" me about my lack of love for others that could not be farther from the truth.  I know that  1) he does not "guilt" us to do anything (that is not his way) and 2) I have found that reoccurring moments of the same topic are his way of wooing me to stop and let him show me an area where I need him more.  Well, I had set aside a whole weekend for the purpose of stopping and letting him show me.  I can tell you that he did not waste one moment of it!  During the conference while listening to the speakers over and over he pursued my heart and reminded me of his great love for me.  That his banner over me is love.  That he loved me first.  That he wants to love on me so much that his love would fill up all the parts of my heart and spill out to others.  I can be loving with others because God has given me such a great gift of love!  He does not forget to love or pursue me even when I have allowed my routine to slow down my pursuit of him.  I love him and he loves me and from his love I am able to love others more.  I could go on but I will just close with a scripture that I have been reflecting on this week  "Dear friends, since God loved us that much, we surely ought to love each other.  No one has ever seen God.  But if we love each other, God lives in us, and his love is brought to full expression in us." 1 John 4:11,12 (NLT)