Magic and Miracles

     Yesterday was my twentieth last day of school and it was hands down the best last day ever!  In fact this last week of school has been such a wonderful experience with little celebrations happening every afternoon.  I am not exaggerating when I tell you that these kids were the best group of students in my twenty years of teaching.  There was a little bit of magic in this group.  Everyday they showed up with fantastic attitudes, smiles on their faces, and ready to learn.  They vocalized their appreciation every day.  They gave hugs and high fives freely to each other and to me.  If one student was having a struggle, two others would come around them with encouraging words and a readiness to help.  Every where we went, teachers and administrators complimented them.  Like I said, there was a little bit of magic in the combination of this group and I will admit that I needed that magic.  I needed that magic- to see it, feel it, learn to believe in it again. I need it like I needed air to breath.  That magic is what made brought me back to life.

     I would be lying if I said the last two and a half years were not a struggle.  I would also be lying if I said that teaching was a breeze before Covid.  It wasn't. Before Covid I could see that things were changing and that the changes were making it harder to do the job I love.  The behavior in the classroom was getting harder and harder to manage.  The list of to dos were only growing longer and time to do them in shorter and shorter.  Then Covid happened.  As teachers we had to learn new ways of doing things, almost overnight.  We had to be virtual teaching experts and let's state the obvious here....teaching children is NOT done best in a completely virtual format.  Yet we persevered and I am glad that I have technology skills that I didn't have before.  In some ways, the era of virtual teaching allowed me to breath easier.  While it was a challenge to keep kids engaged through a screen, I enjoyed finding new ways to engage them and be creative.  If I am truly keeping it real, I could breath easier and be more creative because I wasn't dealing with the grind of disruptive behaviors that derail a lesson, a morning, an afternoon, or even a day! Teaching during Covid made me see that class size does make a difference.  The AB schedule where I was teaching only 12 kids at a time was much more successful for kids than being all day everyday in a small classroom with 20-25 other students.  I could do more for them and with them.  Downfall, those 12 students only saw me in person two days a week.  It was hard to make the personal connection students and teachers truly need in just two days a week.  

    I think the worst of the changes in teaching that happened since March 2020 has been the strain on the parent teacher relationship and the decline in teacher morale.  Parents held the burden of being a parent, working during an extremely difficult time, and then coteaching with us at home.  It was overwhelming and I get that, I'm a parent too.  It was not fair to them.  It is our job as the teacher to motivate students six hours a day to meet their learning goals but not being with them in person made that a huge struggle.  Now that job fell to parents and they struggled with managing the pushback from their kids to do the work at home.  In reality they should only have to manage the pushback from their kids about chores and such so again that was not fair to them. Sadly over time, this struggle created an absenteeism crisis.  Students wouldn't come to virtual sessions, didn't turn in virtual work, and there was no way to really hold accountability so kids missed more and more.  I will say that the remnants of this crisis has rolled over to this year as well, even though we were in person all year long.  Motivating students feels harder now than ever.  Getting some students to come to school is a struggle.  It's like school for some, has become option not a requirement.  I know of students that missed almost the equivalent of an entire nine weeks this year.  That's 45 days!  Motivating them to persevere and complete work can be an uphill climb some days.  Difficult behaviors have increased. Paper work is through the roof! Then you add in the rhetoric and behaviors that have swirled around about everything from masks to book content and the attitude towards teachers and their profession feels like it is worse than before.  The pressure for teachers to close the gap for students is at an all time high.  On top of that it feels like in every direction our hands are being tied while we are being scrutinized, devalued, and judged.   Now enters the teacher retention crisis.  Teachers are exiting this year in droves and the number of newly graduated teachers waiting and excited to take their place is shrinking.  Sadly, no one has good answers to either crisis we are facing. So those who stay are left to continue working hard and will pray and hope that consistency with in person learning, good communication, and partnership with families over time will heal the wounds on all of our hearts.  

    So when I say that I needed magic, what I am really saying is that I needed a miracle.  At the end of last year, I brought all of my teaching stuff home and decided I would look for a new job.  I applied to jobs.  I went to several interviews over the summer.  I didn't get the jobs.  I began the 2021-2022 school year ready to give a new crop of first graders what they needed but with the heaviest of hearts.  Then twenty one little people entered the door of my room and brought with them a freshness.  They were little blank slates excited to be in school for the first time in a long time. They worked hard all year and always had the best attitude. Their attitude affected my attitude.  These twenty one little souls showed me the magic again.  They were the miracle that God knew I needed.  I will be forever grateful for them and for their parents.    I know I am a lucky teacher for having known them.  I feel even more lucky that I ended my years of teaching on such a wonderful note.  I have accepted a position as Instructional Coach in my building for next year.  I will still see kids and work with them but it won't be in the same capacity that I have the last twenty years.  I understand now that the applications that were rejected and the jobs I didn't get were all part of the plan.  I would have missed my miracle, I wouldn't have seen the magic. Nora Roberts has said, "Magic exists.  Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers, the music of wind and the silence of the stars?  Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic.  It is such a simple and such an extraordinary part of the lives we live."  Thank you little ones for loving learning, loving me, and bringing the magic.  Thank you God for the miracle.